Boys,
So today was one of those days. You'll know these days one day when you get older. Those days you want to tuck back in your mind so you can relive it over and over. Those days where all the frustrations and doubt that your a good parent drift away and you think, I got this and man is this awesome. So today was Dr. Seuss' Birthday so I decided to do a whole theme. Now it wasn't like we don't always read or engage but your reactions today were just too much. We watched the Cat in the Hat and read 3 of Dr. Seuss' books and ate green eggs and ham and you were all so into it and animated. Don't get me wrong, you still fought with eachother and I'm sure there were tantrums but the great moments of today just help those to soften. My all time favorite moment my sons were when we were reading green eggs and ham. Samuel, you just listened in awe. Jeremiah, you kept pointing at things on the pages, and naming all the items that you recognized, car, train, mess, etc. Now Isaac, you were sitting on my lap and as I was reading, you turned around, looked up at me, held my face with your little chubby hands and gave me a kiss and smiled. Like saying, thanks mama, you rock. Of course this moment absolutely took my breath away and reminded me why I chose to stay home with you, to leave a job I loved, to obviously stay home to a better job. I never saw myself as a stay at home but yet here I am. I recently spoke to your Papa about this very subject. Comparing myself to someone we knew that absolutely is an awesome stay-at -home mom and stating, I'm not that person, she is great. Your Papa's response to me was, your right, your not that person, you are you, and they couldn't do what you do on their best day. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a competition, it's more of my self doubt getting the best of me at times. Now that was awesome for him to say but I'm not sure I truly believed it until today. This day brought tears to my eyes and reminded me to take it all in and remember what it's all about. Now my baby boys, I can't forget about your big brother. Now today he was going to a fieldtrip to Knotts Berry Farm that left tonight. Although he came home with friends and they hung out here, he still finished his chores and as he left, he made sure to give me a hug and kiss and say I love you mom. Now for a kid about to be 13, and do this in front of his friends is big. He loves his mama and I love all my boys. Thank you my loves for taking my breath away. These are those moments...
My mijo,
I wanted to write you a special letter since you have been through so much medically. Well 2 days ago you had your 5th and it looks like, your final surgery. Every time you went under my heart felt like it stopped until I saw you again. I tried to just put my faith in God and not freak out but it was easier said than done at times. You, however, emerged a trooper every time. I am amazed at your resilience and how it really does seem, however sad it is, your tolerance for pain is high. You are currently recovering and I have to say, seeing you hurt is heartbreaking. I wish I could take away the pain but all I can say is I'am so sorry mijo that you have to go through this. I know it's a temporary state and I should be so thankful that other than this you are healthy and I am but it still hurts to see you in pain. Then there are times when my Samuel emerges and you are running around trying to get in there with your brothers and I have to keep telling you to sit down and relax because you just had surgery. It's these moments that I know, all will be ok. I love you and are just praying for these next few weeks of recovery fly by for you. I hope that my comfort helps and that you are healed and running around with your crazy 3 older brothers again in no time.
Love you,
Mama
So my last post was about Samuel's upcoming surgery. Well to update, it has been postponed. He has an appointment this Friday and we will see then if it will be rescheduled for the next week or two or pushed back a bit. They want him to be a bit bigger so that's the reason.
Well this weekend I was given a great compliment. I was told that I have so much energy and seem so active. This made me feel good because most of the time I feel so run down and everyday when I lay my head down I think of all that I still need to accomplish and how tomorrow I will be better. I sometimes feel inadequate in aspects of my life. Like I'm not organized enough, driven enough, not enough activities with the boys, not enough time spent with Lil Vic, not enough meals cooked, I really need to learn how to sew, I don't cook healthy enough and so on and so on. Don't get me wrong, I know what's important and that my boys are healthy and happy but am I doing enough of the other stuff. It sounds silly even to me but I think when your plate is full you always feel like things are falling off. Now today it's raining so maybe that explains why I feel blah but will we ever do enough for our kids? Will we ever feel adequate? It's not just about the babies, but also my mijo. Are we making the right decisions for Lil Vic and helping him to reach his potential in all aspects in his life? Are we pushing too hard, not hard enough? I usually don't like worrying about things I have no control over however I know how I chose to raise my children is my choice and I guess at times, I wonder if its all enough. So thanks to may family members that gave me that awesome compliment, only if it shows me that by staying moving and active, perhaps as many things aren't falling off that plate of life!
So it's a New Year and as the first week goes by I can't ignore the fact that Samuel is having his 5th and hopefully final surgery next week. Tomorrow we head to Loma Linda for pre-op stuff. I try not to dwell or think to much about it because if I do, I will freak out. Now obviously since this is his 5th surgery we have been here before. However, can you ever get use to the idea of your baby being put under and the realization that there's nothing you can do about the pain of healing. I mean I will do my best to sooth and comfort but this is really out of my control. Now I don't get too much into the details but this is the surgery that will hopefully finish correcting his hypospadias. I think the fact that Samuel is now 2 and is speaking so much, also has me worried. He knows how to express pain and he says ouch! So I guess for now I will just pray. I know the control of the situation is out of my hands and that only God knows our plan. I just pray that he watches over Samuel and helps to relieve his pain as quickly as possible.
A little behind but wanted to post the boys 2 year height and weights.
Isaac- Height 35 1/2 inches Weight 30 lbs 6 oz
Jeremiah- Height 35 1/2 inches Weight 30 lbs 6oz
Samuel- Height 33 1/2 inches Weight 25 lbs 6 oz
Well it happend, Jeremiah finally caught up to Isaac and showed us, they really are identical! They are above average on height and weight.
Samuel is below average but on the chart! Woo Hoo!
